1996 August 10

P. was on call all day. He did not get much sleep. I was quietly by myself all day. Got used to this solitude now since there was so much to do - grocery shopping, laundry, video-taping, reading Ecstasy by Irvine Welch and the Face or experimented with our sampler.

Unlike the week before last, I felt sleepy & could be very relaxed & lied down in bed almost any time. By midnight I could not just sleep any more. Watched Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle. Took a while to get used to her drawl. Is that real twenties New York drawl? We went out at around half past one.

I was not in the rave mood or shape. But I had no complaint - flushable toilets with toilet paper. No line up at the entrance or outside the toilet. Polite ravers - Anglo but tough , not the stylish party crowd but these people seemed genuinely into the vibe. Carl Cox definitely set the right vibe. There were people walking back & forth at the dance floor but it was understandable - they needed refreshment . We were all soaked to the bones with sweat but were all happy. That happy vibe was there! When I first got the spot we settled down to dance, the guy in a goat-tee and black t-shirt turned back and smiled at me. He knew how to dance too. If these guys are so in tuned to this rhythm now, when they grew older, they must be a gentler and kinder lot. There may be hope in this country or even this world.

Carl Cox's mix was impeccable. A new beat or sound was added every 8 bars or so. Three turntables and a three hour set. He came out at a good time too - 3:00 a.m. The stage was set professionally with good lighting and fog/ smoke from the dry ice/ smoke machine filling the whole room. The dance-floor extended over a great area. People were even dancing in front of the water bars. The vendors moved and shook with the beat. We saw nobody we knew, however, except perhaps one of the girls at the Rail. C.C. created crescendos and drum rolls with suspended silence and frequency increase of bass drums every now and then. There was hardly any repeated sound. He continued to play until around 6:00a.m.. I was in good shape at first but by five I just had to let a few climaxes go while everybody around me jumped and cheered and had their hands in the air. P and I were quite at ease. I was happy to just stand by the bar rail and moved to the beat.

Had a very deep sleep for seven hours straight from 6:30 on. Felt refreshed. P. said there were not that many situations where you consciously knew at the very moment that you were happy., Usually you think about it afterwards and realize how precious that moment is. But in this rave, he had that "luved -up" feeling that he knew he had a good time. I cannot agree more